For the past few days, several things have been focused on in the media. Bush in Asia and jets over Oregon that almost crashed. Not.

 

First up, let's look at Bush's visit to South Korea, er, Japan, er, China, er, Mongolia. Since the three prior stops were an utter disappointment and loss, with very little accomplished, a great deal of attention has been placed on his trip to Mongolia. Images of him hanging with costumed individuals and barbarian-like warrior horsemen are all too-surrealistic and photogenic, almost like those Capital One commercials featuring Norse warriors, as compared with his rather dull and uneventual West Wing-episode-like stop in China. At least this time, he was making a mockery of someone else's military by posing in front of them.

 

Next up, the almost-fateful-but-somehow-miraculously-saved Nike jet that could have but didn't crash in Hillsboro, Oregon, early this morning. I was up and about and happened to look out my kitchen skylight as I caught a glimpse of the jet, rear-right landing gear stuck in a 45-degree angle position, as it was on the first of five hours' worth of approaches and fuel-burning maneuvers. CNN sucked up this story faster than you could guess, replacing Ariel Sharon's admittedly not-so-important political press conference, with the tepid faux-drama of a Nike executive jet that could, could, could, might, may, will, certainly CRASH that began just after it took off and found its landing gear would not close properly.

 

The funniest part was listening to local news, which was rebroadcast on national TV. KPTV reporters (the local Fox news channel, which is an affiliate of CNN -- go figure THAT one out) couldn't even get their geography right. Yes, Hillsboro and its airport are in Washington County. NO, Newberg and McMinnville are NOT in the same county. Sheesh. So much for quality coverage. Idiots. They're probably all California transplants anyway.

 

CNN reporters were desperately trying to get something, anything (seriously, anyway, we'll take it!!!) out of anyone willing to be interviewed, but it was hilarious how everyone out here they spoke with wasn't too concerned. "Oh, this happens all the time", said numerous fire and rescue personnel. "But, couldn't it still end in tragedy?", a reporter asked. "No, this will probably end in a very uneventful manner".

 

And four hours later, after they pre-empted their pitifully-shallow international coverage (which these days includes nothing outside of Eye-Rack [Iraq] or Israel), the jet managed to lower the gear and land quietly and without any explosions. To which CNN immediately cut away after a ten-second post-mortem re-cap of the day's excitements, and reconvene the previously scheduled programming.

 

How ultimately, utterly, pitifully lame. See? This is what happens when you live in a walled-garden media circus like the U.S. No real news to report unless it has an entertainment factor about it. I dare you, prove me wrong.

 

David

Hold onto your kidney. Don't say I didn't warn you.

 

Yesterday evening, the McMenamins Hotel Oregon, located in historic downtown McMinnville, Oregon, hosted a $35-per-person whisky tasting from 7-9pm.

 

It was a rather good event, even if some of the 20 paying attendees tried flaunting their flair through class warfare.

 

But let's not get ahead of ourselves now, shall we? We tasted a total of four (not six, as advertised) whiskies. The event managers were very apologetic, and provided free-of-charge beers (yes, you heard me correctly) to make up for the difference.

 

In all, 20 people attended this event, and only a few (myself included) had the nerve to ask any questions or press the tasting director for details on the various whiskies we tasted.

 

First lesson: water does NOT have that big an influence on the end result of the whisky. Seriously. Note to tasting director: Don't try to sell us on the idea that the quality of the water differs so greatly between regions of Scotland, and those of the United States. We all know that peat, quality of the malt, and type of oak are the most important factors in determining how a whisky will turn out. Dude, just stop insulting us already.

 

Next lesson: it don't matter who you know in Mc-mini-ville, it's still an overgrown village run by village idiots. Halfway through the event, some guy leaned over to his buddy and commented, "Well, I know (this publisher) and (that councilman)..."

 

Who?? Just some big-names in the local community that outside of it no one cares about. I wasn't exactly certain what it was all about, but it definitely sounded like posturing to me, you know, like how roosters behave in a feable attempt to establish pecking order and rank?? Just a word to all you McMinnvillites -- you're not roosters. Cocks, maybe, probably most certainly...  :). So give up the lame jockeying act already.

 

Why do some names carry so much weight, anyway? Perhaps if they're three-letter, single-syllable names, they're easily understood by the inbredded village masses. Who knows. It just floors me some guy would try to pull rank by name-dropping local-yokel royalty.

 

Well.. time went on. About this time, some guy who works for the local newspaper popped his head in the door. He did a quick head count, and ducked out.

 

Hmm. I guess they're so cheap they wouldn't pay the reporter to attend the event, but still had him drop in during the middle of the event, disrupt everything, and have him get a body count so he can go write up a cheap article on the event?

Answer: They're both featured on the homepage of MSNBC tonight.

 

 

 

Wow! Look at that rack!

 

Well, it's apparent WHO is hurting for ratings. Come on, this is ONE guy you don't have to worry about finding between a pair of knockers, and yet, THERE is the cleavage word right in front of his face!